The Wayshower

So here are the most important lessons I’ve learned about being a Wayshower*:

* I use the term wayshower, but if that doesn’t resonate switch it out for any other title you prefer as the following principles apply to everyone on a path of awakening.

• Know that you’re blazing a trail. You’re probably the first one in your family (or at least in a couple of generations) to be undergoing such an awakening and viewing life from a new and expansive perspective. To get super spiritual about it, it’s likely your soul’s purpose in this lifetime has a lot to do with freeing blockages that have been lingering in your family’s and even your culture’s collective karma for a long ways back. It’s a noble task to undertake, but it also means a lot of energetic heavy lifting. Allow yourself ample time to rest and restore and know that it’s normal to not be able to see the path ahead. If it was clear, there wouldn’t be a trail to blaze. 

• It’s going to feel lonely at times. The truth is you and only you are the one who can experience what is in your heart and soul. And when these visions and ideals aren’t shared by the people surrounding us it can feel incredibly lonely. Especially if we’ve gotten used to their support and affirmation. Individuation (the process of becoming our authentic self) is not comfortable. It requires us to sacrifice our ego attachments and coping mechanisms such as codependency that we have adopted out of the misbelief that conforming to family and cultural norms is the only way to be loved. In moving out of such longstanding patterns, a die-off is going to be experienced much like in a detox. And loneliness is one of the most common symptoms. Some things that may help: Know that this space that is being created is vital, as it’s the only way to allow room for your true self to emerge. Know that it isn’t going to be like this forever as when you aren’t clogging up your energy field with people who aren’t right for your soul, there is space for authentic friendships and connections to find you. And finally, use this as a time to reframe the concept of loneliness altogether by exploring the idea that we are never really alone. Spirit, higher intelligence, whatever you personally call it, is always at your side. In the absence of a close network of supporters, use this space to experiment with your own direct line to the Universe.

• Let go of the need to feel understood. Easier said than done, I know. But so vital as the fact is, when you start to change and pull away from the comfort of the known, you are going to be questioned, doubted and misunderstood by others. The reason for this is that the ego hates change. It’s prime directive is to keep things comfortable and safe - the shadow of all adventure and evolution. When you embark on your journey of awakening, there will be people in your life who will try to pull you back to shore. Strength in numbers and all that. It’s tribal and so human. But the hero has to leave the comfort of home in order to return with the ultimate boon aka the prize wisdom that has the power to change the world. When we release our attachment to being understood, we create the space to experience immense freedom and authenticity.

• Have compassion for those who aren’t ready. We all know what it feels like to be stuck. Imprisoned by fear. Crippled by conditioning and deaf to the words of the still, small voice within. If there are people in your life who you feel are holding you back with their judgements and inflexibility, take a step back and look for the pain that is driving their actions. Look for their inner child that is desperately seeking the love it never received. My mentors at USM teach that beneath all anger there is pain and beneath all pain there is love. To be a wayshower means seeing into someone else’s heart. Because every time you do so, you are being the change you want to see in the world. 

• Seek guidance from those who are in the arena. Brene Brown got the title for Daring Greatly from a beautiful quote by Teddy Roosevelt who said that the critic isn’t the one who counts. Rather “the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..” If someone isn’t actively taking the steps to expand their consciousness and live their truth then they probably aren’t going to be able to offer you helpful advice or feedback. Find the people to support you who are on the path and can share first-hand stories of discovering and living into their authentic selves. And even then, don’t forget that this is ultimately YOUR journey and no two ever look the same. 

• Don’t push an agenda. Nothing will deter others more from taking an interest in your life and journey than this kind of energy. Believe me, this has backfired on me so. many. times. Just because you’re consciously evolving does not mean you know what is best for another person. That’s between them and their soul. Everyone is on their own timeline and we need to be respectful of that, and give people the dignity of their own process. Things radically shifted in my relationships when I stopped giving unsolicited advice and trying to actively help (read:save) others when they weren’t directly asking for it. Wayshowing means showing others the way by simply awakening to and living your truth. By being it rather than preaching it. Leave room for people to notice the incredible shifts you are experiencing and they’ll naturally want to have what you’re having.

• Make your inner experience and your heart your #1 source of guidance. In her Masterclass on leadership and creativity, Anna Wintour talks about how we are driven by our heart, our talent and our instinct. And if we start to look at what people are doing to the left or the right of us, we lose that clarity of thought. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to make the space to get quiet and tune in to your inner guidance. It’s your direct line from higher intelligence and the more you are listening to others, the less you are able to hear the unique wisdom it has to share. If something feels off, trust that feeling. If something lights you up, trust and follow that feeling. All we ultimately have to offer on this planet is our unique vision, so don’t let yours go to waste. 

• Expect miracles and synchronicities and take a minute to celebrate them when they manifest. Challenging as this path may be, the rewards vast outweigh the efforts. When you say yes to your soul, it says yes to you. And when it does you can’t help but believe in the magic of the Universe. Run-ins with just the person you were hoping to meet, opportunities that seem to flow in effortlessly, unexpected gifts - these are all things you can expect to experience. Sometimes they are big, most of the time, small. The key is to not let them pass by without taking a moment to acknowledge their beauty, and to see this beauty as a reflection of your true nature. 

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Emily Anderson- https://www.embodyingwild.com/about-emily